Code Strong, Urology.

Every hospital probably has their own “code” lingo.  Code blue, code 4, code Adam, code brown.  It’s usually an overhead page heard round the hospital that alerts particular team members of an urgent situation.  Like someone choking on a big bite of cafeteria Philly Cheesesteak (“Code blue, cafeteria!), or someone tripped and fell & couldn’t get up as they were walking up to admitting (Code MET valet parking) or someone was found pulseless/apneic in their hospital bed and needed resuscitation (Code 4, 8East) .

My personal favorite is the code strong, which is our overhead code call for security “show of force”.  Show of force is basically several security officers showing up to the scene and trying to intimidate with their sheer numbers…usually two to three in these parts.  Really intimidating.  Typically, its the patient coming down off their high or sobering up and wondering where the fu*k they are and starting a fight with the first person they see.  Sometimes its the sweet little old man who’s post op from a prostate resection who goes delirious from anesthesia & suddenly acquires superhuman strength  & demonic possession and rises out of bed a la Linda Blair intent on “getting out of this damn hotel & back to the fish hatchery!!” (yeah buddy, you’re not the first or the last person to think this place is a hotel, and that I am a waitress).  Then the sideshow really begins.  Within about 5 minutes of calling a code strong, our ragtag bunch of security personnel with their flashlights and 8lb jangly key rings hanging from their belts show up.   The security team usually consists of the the 5’1″ token woman, the 64 year old close-to-retirement-osteoporosis-limper and the overweight early 20’s first job huffing/puffing as he gets to the room.  They all show up, a royal circus ensues, and you just pray that nobody gets their fingers broken or their tubes yanked out.

My personal favorite , as of late, is “Code strong, Urology clinic”.  We stand around, after getting a good chuckle, tossing around possible scenarios that would require a security show of force in a urology clinic.

Surely it’s a man.  With a penis.  Who doesn’t want anything or anyone coming near it with anything resembling a hose, needle or knife.

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