Shift Change

Getting an admit within the hour before shift change is like going to any business 5 minutes before closing and making a huge high maintenance order.  Like a Starbucks run for your entire office floor and everyone wants a different kind of milk: soy, nonfat, almond, whole, 2%.  And doing it right before closing as they’re mopping the floors and cleaning out the pastry cabinet.  And also…doing it while you’re drunk.  That was my ED admit last night at 1845.  With a 240mg/dL blood level and a bunch of stat orders.  Why someone, who is only being admitted to sober up and so I can bandage a minor head lac, needs stat orders is beyond me.  Actually, sadly, it isn’t.  I just read a journal article about someone in an ED who came in completely wasted & the staff didn’t search his belongings thoroughly enough to find the cigarettes and lighter that he then proceeded to light up and smoke.  And then somehow manage to set himself on fire.  And then sue the hospital.  And win.  Apparently he needed stat orders.  “Smack upside the head, Q15minutes PRN STAT!”